Monday, September 8, 2008

It has been forever, hasnt it?
Ive moved to NYC.
Ive made amazing friends.
Ive started grad school.
Ive started getting really involved again, but Im trying to be healthy about it.
Ive set up house..
I have had a few really difficult days....
Im ashamed to admit the struggles that I have had, but for reasons of which I am unsure. I purged 4 or 5 times this week. I was scared about my weight. Im eating every meal out. Im eating cheesy things... greasy fried things... chocolate things...
and I got really scared that I was crazy and couldnt stop....
in fact... i got on a scale today... and I am the same weight as I was when I left LA.

However, despite some slips after being so close to recovered, I feel even closer to it...
I have an amazing life, with amazing friends who dont have EDs, but know about mine and are there if I need them. I have a vibrant atmosphere and love surrounding me. I have my share of trials but I dont use food to navigate them
I go out with friends and drink. I eat things that include fried and cheesy things :P
I do a lot of walking and take the occasional dance or yoga class.
This is recovery, and I love it :)

2 comments:

Arielle said...

I'm glad you love it. And I'm glad you aren't being too hard on yourself for having a few setbacks. It's really a part of recovery. Even recovery isn't perfect. I'm proud of you and happy for you.

Alexa said...

Hey...I moved from LA to NYC this year, too. I also am in recovery from ED...at different stages, diff times, sounds like a lot like you. I was struggling a lot this fall and I'm now going inpatient at Renfrew...but I love reading your blog (found through Arielle's blog!), and maybe we can communicate when I'm back from treatment? I really like reading your stuff. I post a fair amount on WBB, under alexagk. take care, happy election!!!!